Female Sexual Desire

Female Sexual Desire

I’ve written about the most prevalent sexual problem in couples, desire discrepancy, and how it leads to the development of the harmful pursuer-distancer cycle both here on the site and elsewhere. Much of the misunderstanding and confusion surrounding this issue stems from the presumption that female and male libido functions are comparable. This common misconception is incorrect; there are specific circumstances and characteristics that influence how the female sex drive behaves. This month’s column will examine the characteristics of female sexual desire and the factors that support it.

Read more: Get Your Woman In Romance: A Feminist Sexpert’s Guide

What is sexual desire, or sex drive?

First, let’s discuss what sexual desire is like.

An individual’s libido, or spontaneous sexual desire, is their sex drive.  It speaks about the drive or propensity to engage in sexual activity.  Simply put, it’s the sensation of being “horny” and being highly interested in engaging in sexual action, either by yourself or with a partner.

Are men’s sex drives stronger than women’s?

Men are generally seen to be more interested in sex than women. This idea has merit because hormones have a role in sexual desire. Males produce 10–20 times more testosterone than females do, and this hormone is the primary source of desire in both sexes. Male sex drives are more intense, focused, and less distractible, according to Rosie King, who writes about them in her book Good Loving Great Sex. Female sex desire is more dispersed and distractible since a female’s body produces a lot less testosterone.  Put differently, a woman’s impulsive desire for sex is more influenced by her daily activities and overall life circumstances than a man’s partner.

However, the intricacies of human sexual desire extend beyond just chemical processes. While hormones play a significant role in determining an individual’s sex drive, other biological elements also play a significant role. The distinction in the sex drives of men and women is more about the quality of the sex than the quantity. Female sex drives are more motivated by connection and affection, especially in long-term relationships, than male sex drives, which are more focused on sex and climax.

The female sexual desire model proposed by Rosemary Basson

A theory proposed by physician Rosemary Basson explains why women’s sexual desire alters in committed partnerships. Women experience a powerful sexual reaction during the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, driven by passionate love and infatuation. With time, weariness and more distractions cause a different kind of sexual reaction.

Women start out in sexual neutrality, according to Basson’s model, but if they sense their partner’s desire and see an opportunity to gain potential benefits from sex, like emotional closeness, they may decide to transition from sexual neutrality to seeking sensual contact and stimulation. She starts to get produced, which gives her a feeling of physical well-being with the added pleasure of spin-offs such as bonding and love.

According to this idea, women’s biological need for releasing sexual tension is smaller than men’s. Instead, a multitude of non-sexual benefits that complement physical pleasure are what drive women to engage in sexual activity.

To put it briefly, women’s sexual desire is frequently a responsive rather than an impulsive phenomenon. After the first sensual encounter, it develops. A woman’s sexual desire usually arises from her openness to soft, relaxed sensuous caressing, whereas a man’s desire may be fueled by physical drive.

For many women, having sex is primarily about emotional intimacy and shared closeness. Not every sexual experience results in orgasmic release, and it’s not a prerequisite for satisfaction.Few men are aware of this since they typically think that their female partner’s desire for sex should be just as strong and impulsive as their own. The ubiquitous stereotype of the sexually ravenous woman, which downplays the actualities of female sexual behavior, has its roots in glossy women’s magazines, erotica and pornography, as well as films and literature.

The necessary conditions

Early in a relationship, when the usual female enhancers of romance, time spent together, mutual self-disclosure, and emotional intimacy are present in large quantities and have a potent influence on libido, is when a woman’s sexual interest often peaks. This gives the idea that the couple’s libidos are a perfect fit. However, in the absence of elevated testosterone levels, the female sex drive is left vulnerable to the stresses of daily life. Most women—even those with very high sex drives—discover that stress occasionally causes their sex drive to drop. A woman’s libido needs to be vitally boosted by her preferred boosters, particularly her relationship, in order for her to feel interest in sex in long-term relationships.

Increasing female sexual desire

Therefore, it makes obvious that a woman’s boosters must be satisfied on a regular (ideally daily) basis if she is to have a long-lasting and passionate desire in sex. A man would be wise to pay attention to how many enhancers he is now giving his spouse if he wants to increase the frequency of their sexual activity.  Small actions have a big impact.  Pay close attention to your partner’s answer when you inquire about her day. Assume responsibility for the evening home duties to give her some alone time. Alternatively, give her a call to let her know you’ve been thinking of her.

Women engage in “twenty-three-and-a-half hours of foreplay,” according to Rosie King, meaning that a woman’s ability to feel desire and arousal is influenced by everything that occurs in her day. As a guy, you should not expect your female spouse to go from a stressed-out parent or employee to an enthused lover if you are not making any efforts to lessen her workload practically and emotionally. By consistently attending to your partner’s needs, you can prevent the accumulation of resentment, which is the leading cause of her sex drive being destroyed.

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