Get Your Woman in Romance: A Feminist sexpert’s Guide

Women in Romance

Men are regularly complaining that their women are sulking over romance novels for far too long. The Feminist sexpert’s has some news for you, guys! You shouldn’t be concerned about their noses because women sometimes read romance books to state their desires for libido and libido. Therefore, if you’d rather that she concentrates on you rather than the consistently pouty and exquisitely built male model on the cover of Pulsating Passions (Part Five), heed these useful advice—which comes directly from a romance author who is celebrating ten years in the industry—woohoo!

Get her books and read them.

and bring them to life. Yes, I am aware. You don’t have Pulsating Passions (Part Five) at the top of your to-read list. However, flipping through the pages of her most beloved romance novels offer a glimpse into her most imaginative thoughts. Thus, if she has a preference for a specific kind of romance—more precisely, a specific kind of hero—then research and live up to the idea. Does she like wealthy bad boys? Put on your best suit and take her to a resort for the weekend, where there will be sumptuous meals, dancing, and lots and lots of presents! Is she a fan of bad boy bikers? Put on your pleathers and take her for a trip on your engine (pardon the offensive pun). Does she enjoy rock stars?

Take off the tight jeans and the karaoke machine. Does she enjoy princes, pirates, or vampires? Get dressed up, build up a scene in your bedroom, and encourage her to live the dream by going to the costume and prop store.

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Have a costume party.

Alright, buddy, how many times has she worn that fucking cheerleader outfit for your advantage? If you change up your outfit from the spaghetti-stained boxers to a G-string, kilt, loincloth, or anything else that catches her eye, she’ll be really happy. Sure, I did say loincloth.

Have a sensual dance.

Women adore a man with dance skills. So, you can dance your way into her heart—and all those other essential parts—whether you perform a seductive striptease for a solitary audience or sweep her across your back porch in a fiery tango! Take a few lessons at a nearby dance studio or watch movies like A Night in Heaven, Dirty Dancing, and Magic Mike for inspiration.

Elevate your appearance.

Let’s face it: a lot of women get up at ridiculous hours to do their makeup and hair and look their best for their relationships as well as for their professions.  And a lot of men say, “I’m good,” after taking a shower and shaving. Well, nope. In exchange for her looking well for you, treat her to a salon haircut and a few new suits. Go to the gym, get some fragrance and skin care products. You won’t die from it, and the outcome will please her.

Take porn more seriously.

Show her no pornographic production including babysitters, stepdaughters, prostitutes, or stepdaughter hookers who double as babysitters unless you really want your lady to set fire to your DVD player and bolt from the room, calling her divorce attorney on speed dial. Rather, choose elegant, romantic movies that satiate the needs of female viewers.

Inquire about her dreams.

And bring them to life in your sleeping quarters. Now, let’s get started! And tell her you were sent by the Feminist Sexpert’s.

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