Sex and Intimacy Without Erections

Sex and Intimacy Without Erections

Your sexual life will likely be altered if you have erectile dysfunction (ED). That may cause you and your partner to feel disappointed or frustrated. However, if you’re willing to be flexible, you can discover fascinating new avenues for closeness.

People frequently hold the stereotype that sex is defined by the media, which suggests that having sex entails getting an erection, having sex penetration, and having an orgasm at the end of the experience. Tameca Harris-Jackson, PhD, a licensed sexuality educator in Winter Park, Florida, asserts that “sex is much broader than that.”

Start With a Checkup

If you have erectile dysfunction, you are unable to achieve an erection for a sufficient amount of time to engage in penetrating sexual activity. However, you can still ejaculate and have an orgasm without getting an erection.

Talk with your doctor first. They must determine the cause of your ED. Heart disease and type 2 diabetes are two possible health issues. So might a few mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Antidepressants and blood pressure meds are among the substances that might cause ED.

Once a medical condition has been ruled out, you and your partner can begin discussing the details of your new sexual life.

Doctor suggests some erectile dysfunction medications like Cenforce 100 mg, Aurogra 100 mg, Cenforce 200 mg and Vidalista 60 mg.

Be Mindful of Each Other’s Emotions


Based on Madelyn Esposito-Smith’s experience as a professional sex therapist and mental health clinician with University of Wisconsin Health in Madison, knowing the source of your ED can help your partner feel less afraid. “Simply telling their partner that this is not a personal matter is one of the first things I advise the males I work with to do. They’re not doing anything incorrect here.”

Eric Garrison concurs. In addition to being a professional sexuality counselor in Tidewater, Virginia, he chairs the American Association of Sexuality Educators’ certification board. “It really helps with the conversation when you become the expert in your own sexual health and pleasure and you can share that with others,” the man claims.

Having an honest discussion with your significant other can be very beneficial to your bond. However, it could also make you feel uneasy and exposed, according to Omaha, Nebraska-based Kristen Lilla, a licensed clinical social worker and trained sex therapist. Your partner should make an effort to avoid passing judgment on you, she advises. The two of you might benefit from working with a sex therapist who can assist if all they desire is sex with an erection.


Learn What Else You Like

Even after years of dating, talk to each other about what makes you feel lustful and excited.

Take some time to consider what you enjoy. What else besides penis and vagina or penis and anus do I do that makes you feel good? Says Harris-Jackson.

According to Garrison, if you still occasionally get an erection, share with your lover what feels nice when you do and don’t have one. “I love this, this, and this when I get an erection,” is something you might say with ease. When I’m not having an erection, I enjoy having my elbow, left toe, and ear picked on.

Sensate concentration is an intimacy-building practice that can help you and your spouse discover more about your preferred locations and methods of touch. Lilla has a couple try the activity in therapy when they touch each other from the neck up while fully dressed. “It’s a very personal experience that isn’t always focused on sex, and for some people, it’s soothing and calming.”

According to Harris-Jackson, you can try sensate focus at home or with your spouse under the supervision of a therapist. To learn to examine each other’s bodies is the aim. Spend some time kissing, caringssing, and talking to each other about how it feels without piercing or having oral sex so that no one feels under pressure an erection.

Fine-Tune Your Foreplay Skills

If you’d rather, start out easy: Intimacy can be reignited by holding hands, making out, or sharing bare cuddles.

Also, perhaps you and your partner are prepared for more daring alternatives like mutual masturbation, oral sex, or sex toys.

Browse online with your significant other if you’re interested in trying out sex toys (such a vibrator or dildo) but you’re hesitant to visit a place that sells them, advises Lilla. “Instead of feeling like it’s one person’s job or that one person is putting this expectation on the other,” she says, it’s crucial for people to shop together.

Provide a substitute if your significant other wants to test a sex item but you don’t, advises the author. Saying anything along the lines of, “Well, I don’t feel comfortable utilizing a sex toy, but maybe we could try naked cuddling or maybe we could take a bath together.”

Sex Without an Erection

That is conceivable. “The stuffing method,” as it is sometimes called, involves inserting a flaccid penis inside, according to Lilla. “Using a vaginal canal is probably going to be easier than using an anus.”

Make sure it’s pleasant for both partners and try not to reflect back on how the sex used to feel, advises Harris-Jackson.

Keep a Practical, Positive Mindset

Discover innovative ways to make each other feel good. According to Harris-Jackson, it aids in “removing that goal-directed or goal-driven idea that ‘we have to have penetrative sex that leads to orgasm,”

Esposito-Smith advises putting more emphasis on how to make pleasure the standard than performance.

Also, as Garrison states: “How do we maximize sex as opposed to how do we optimize it? I believe that if more people could understand that, having sex would be far more enjoyable for everyone, regardless of whether they are having an erection or not.

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