When Sex Becomes a Problem

When Sex Becomes a Problem

Talking about problematic sexual behavior, adultery, infidelity, porn addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, and other related topics appears to remain taboo even if sexuality and sex are more pervasive than ever in the media, movies, television, music, and other aspects of pop culture.  When talking about these very widespread, yet well-kept, concerns in our culture, people frequently get uncomfortable, humiliated, combative, or even self-loathing. A major source of disagreement, particularly among experts, appears to be defining the boundaries of what constitutes addicted, compulsive, and/or harmful sexual habits.

Recurrent, strong, and disruptive sexual desires, fantasies, and acts are characteristics of compulsive sexual behavior, according to Miner and colleagues (2007, p. 579). That being said, opinions of what constitutes “a distressing interference in daily functioning” vary among researchers and clinicians. A significant portion of professional dispute centers on what is and isn’t damaging. Most people tend to agree that a habit may be considered troublesome or even addictive if it affects important obligations.

So how can we tell for sure when having sex is a problem? The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), an organization of experts in treating all things sexual, has classified problematic sexual behavior into the following categories:

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1. When one’s sexual conduct consistently interferes with their responsibilities.

If you discover that your actions are impeding your ability to commit to your loved one, there may be a problem with your conduct. For instance, your behavior can be viewed as problematic if it is thought to be unpleasant, threatening, or hurtful to your present relationship. It’s crucial to establish a space with your partner to make sure there is compromise when it comes to healthy sexuality because everyone has different opinions about what constitutes positive and healthy sexual behavior.

2. The sexual behavior consistently goes against one’s moral principles.

Everybody has a set of fundamental principles that direct their attitudes, ideas, feelings, and actions. Of course, this is subject to change with time, but most people have a general idea of what is right and wrong. Joe was brought up to think that masturbating is immoral. When he does, very infrequently, masturbate, he feels guilty, frail, and immoral right away. While many individuals do not find masturbation to be as difficult, Joe finds it problematic since it is contrary to his moral principles. Another illustration would be if you consider respecting other people important but you frequently have one-night encounters and don’t answer your partners’ calls, then your behavior may be out of control.

3. The sexual conduct constantly gets in the way of exercising self-control.

Jenny believes that her attention is constantly focused on having sex: either she meets men online and acts seductively, or she meets them in person and has sex, or she is trying to get over the humiliation of her actions. She fears that she is a sex addict, which seems to be all about men, and does not feel in control of her actions. This example demonstrates how these actions are viewed as harmful since they involve feelings of being uncontrollably involved in the act, contemplation, and recovery from sexual practices.

4. The sexual conduct consistently has unfavorable effects.

The term “consequences” is broad and has several possible interpretations. Nonetheless, it is important to recognize that a person’s activity has become problematic and maybe even dangerous if they are continuously getting STIs, are the cause of several unintended pregnancies, or start facing legal repercussions as a result of their sexual practice.

5. There is a persistent lack of sexual accountability in the behavior.

Jimmy is proud of his ability to “get around.” He’s had multiple sex relationships with married ladies. He has even recorded himself having sex with women so he could show his pals, without their consent. This is an excellent illustration of irresponsible sexual activity. The actions could be deemed undesirable if they are secretive because of possible harm.

What then do you do? There is a method to obtain help if you know someone or can personally identify with any of these categories.  The first step on the road to recovery from problematic sexual behavior, sex addiction, porn addiction, and other sexual difficulties is owning up to one’s problems and getting professional assistance when needed.

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